of course not

21st of December, i.e. 4 days back. Returning home from the gym that evening I was feeling extraordinarily charged up. The air was cold and the breeze was strong but I felt invincible. I was wearing a sweat shirt (so old, it’s more like a full sleeve t-shirt) and the air was circulation well through it. I mean I was literally roaming around topless in the cold and the cold breeze felt wonderful on my neck, chest and back. As I entered the warmth of my home, I wondered how many other people could bear the cold as boldly as I did that evening. As I cuddled up in my bed a few hours later, I felt a strange gagging sensation in my throat. I tried pacifying myself by saying, “no no, its nothing…coz I’m so strong…I lift weights for god’s sake, I’m strong and healthy, no microbe can eye my system with hungry eyes” No amount of uncritical thinking helped; the pain gradually grew over the next two days. I did not keep away from anything that is normally proscribed in such a condition. The pain persisted on my birthday, 23^rd December, but that didn’t stop me from hogging down the goodies.

Yesterday the pain grew worse. While conversing, as a strange raspy fluid blocked my larynx when I exhaled/talked, my voice would stop abruptly. When this happened, it caused a strong stinging pain in my throat. My throat feels like it has been lacerated and scraped by serrated knives and every now and then when the raspy fluid gets stuck there, it feels like it’s gnawing at my wounds. Sneezing causes an intense pain but I’ve learnt a way to bypass the jerk in throat by letting out all the pressure through the nasal passage while keeping the opening of the esophagus blocked during the process of sneezing. Everything hurts, water hurts, food hurts, breathing hurts. When the air moves in behind the sinus region (I’ve forgotten the terminology, I doubt if “sinus” is the region I actually mean), it probably moves in through the injured/infected region and causes activates a number of pain receptors there. I suppose the regions of my food pipe as well as upper regions of my windpipe are infected, since both breathing and swallowing cause pain. It is the first time in my life of 28 years that I feel like keeping my neck covered and drinking warm water. I get rudely shaken out of my sleep in the middle of the night when the pain becomes too intense. I’ve had throat infections before but this one is a class apart. I wonder which bacteria outsmarted me…maybe they infected my brain first by making me think that I was super-immune and then when I committed the ridiculous act of roaming unprotected in the cold, laid the foundation of their colonies on their actual breeding ground, the upper respiratory tract. Wait! They’ve invited friends too; today, after suffering for 4 days from this terrible onslaught of bacteria, my nose started to run…viola!! Virus attack!! I’m quite sure that by tomorrow I’ll have the classic symptoms of common cold…influenza virus! Do you know it’s the relative of the bird-flu virus! That scares me because I eat a lot of eggs and chicken. Do you know that influenza infection is self limiting without fatalities but the bird-flu plans its attack on humans at a different level? The only consolation is that it didn’t start with the flu, rather a throat infection so I’m hoping this one won’t ebb away the life out of me.

I repeat, the pain is unbearable; swallowing saliva is painful too. Now friends, I’d want you to wonder about something! Though even uneducated people would know about the repercussions of roaming around without warm clothes in cold weather, I did and boldly so. I was in a state of denial till I actually started to write this post. Now think of the people who take the threat of HIV not very seriously…think of the high risk professions, soldiers, truck drivers, barbers (lets forget about the medical professionals for they actually know lots). Promiscuity, drug abuse, visits to brothels, I’m talking about voluntary habits as opposed to accidents like needle pricks. Isn’t it human to think that you’re invincible when you’re healthy and happy? Then I wonder how many people would be in a state of denial despite knowing their HIV +ive status. And it sends shivers down my spine to think how many would spread the virus owing to the state of denial. The worst part is that the gap between contracting HIV and actually developing symptoms of sickness is a long one, months to years, how many people can a single person infect during this period. Virus is considered to be a connecting link between the living and the non living. Unlike bacteria, fungi or other pathogen/microbe, it turns into a sort of non-living material outside its host cell. This “non-living” stuff can be present on shrapnel like blades, needles etc and mind you, that minuscule crystal just need one entry into you system via a nick or prick. Once it enters, it becomes alive. It recognizes its particular host cell, invades it and uses that cell’s machinery to make its own copies in millions. Like other vira HIV is smart, let’s say one of the smartest, for with all the technology and brains of our times we still don’t have an absolute cure and it’s been almost 25 years now. It attacks the very cells that protect our body and over time throws the whole immune system into a chaos, this is one dangerous little guy. It changes its form to fast, our immune system can’t fight it back and this is the precise reason we’re unable to find a cure…how much do you think a billion different faces per day sound like?…sounds a hundred million times (per day) more dangerous than Ramayan’s Ravan I guess. The medication that will just borrow some more time for you to live on…is not cheap!

Yes we’re invincible, till the day “something” proves otherwise. The next time you have a cold, remember there’s a little guy that’s breached the security of your awesome immune system, managed to invade some part of your body and is reproducing itself by the millions with the passing minutes…it’s not just a running nose buddy. Stay safe, they are million different types and they’re winning against us!